25 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO AN IBS SUFFERER! One 1 thing TO say!
Before you try and help or encourage an IBS sufferer, read this!
1: You’ve been in the bathroom for a long time!
A: Yes, that’s because it is one of the few places I feel safe. You do know I’m not resting in there don’t you. It isn’t a spa room! I’m often in pain, suffering urgency and sometimes I just don’t dare to get off the loo!
2: What are you getting so stressed/anxious about its only XYZ
A: XYZ can be anything for an IBS sufferer. Going for a meal, visiting, having visitors, eating out etc., etc. Please understand that IBS is not only about 
physical symptoms, it has emotional consequences too. People rarely even recognise them unless you have IBS! IBS drains emotional energy and internal resources; many IBS sufferers have multiple ‘what if’ scenarios going on inside their heads, thoughts that are being worked on lots of the time, just in case. And that takes lots of energy, which is why I so often feel tired and drained!
3: Why have you brought your own food?
A: Because I can’t trust that I won’t have some sort of reaction or flare when I eat food I haven’t prepared. It gives me peace of mind and reduces the risks for me.
4: Just get on with it!
A: (Just stand back as you are now in dangerous territory) I am getting on with it, that is why I am drained, that is why I feel agitated and on edge, because people say some of the most offensive things to me, without even thinking anything about it. IBS could easily rule my life, but I am not going to let it, so yes I am just getting on with it. Because I have no choice!
See details of this highly acclaimed IBS Treatment System.
5: Is it really that bad?
A: Please take a moment to think about what you have just asked me. If you 
know me, then you know I would be well pleased to get rid of IBS. You also know I don’t tend to exaggerate things, so when you see me in pain, or dashing for the bathroom, or saying no, I cannot go out, or I’m stopped from doing many of the things I really want to do, then yes trust me it is that bad. If you don’t know me, please also take a moment to think about what you have asked, and then consider how you would feel if I said to you I think you’re a pathetic dumbo who should know better. Now you can feel how I do based on your question!
6: We are not stopping once we set off!
A: Oh yes, and that really helps!! Whether you know it or not, you have 
just attempted to disempower me. So know this: I really don’t care what or why you say that; if we have to stop, we will because I’m sure you really don’t want the consequences of your statement happening in the car! Also expect: If we are going in my vehicle = my rules! I’m glad that’s clear!
7: I thought your stomach was bad; why are you eating/drinking/ordering that?
A: Because I am doing what I think is right for me. Things are so variable, trigger foods and drinks change, I can eat the same thing from day to day, then one time get a trigger! For no apparent reason!
This trigger is then added to the already existing library of fears and caution I use daily at mealtimes and other times of the day. There is no way you will ever understand. However there is nothing to suggest you will not be an IBS sufferer one day yourself, it seems to be the luck of the draw. Then you might understand.
8: You should eat better / try this or that diet!
A: Please do not tell me what to eat. Diets, don’t you think I have tried? They are not always the answer; there is no one magic bullet or panacea. I have spent XX years trying to resolve this, as have the medical profession and researchers. It is trial and error.
9: How long is this going to go on for?
A: Much longer than this conversation, I expect. The doctor doesn’t know, the 
consultant doesn’t know, how am I to know? There is no sell-by label on it, it is an unknown, and you know what, that adds to the stress and anxiety and the draining of energy I feel every day. It would still be difficult if I had a date when it would all be over, but I would cope. But as yet, it’s open-ended. How do you think that would make you feel?
10: Go and see a doctor
A: Done it, again and again, and again. They are limited in knowledge, medications and suggestions. And please don’t say get a second opinion; I've done that too, and another and another.
11: Haven’t you sorted it out yet!
A: See above. But to answer your question, no, not yet, but if I find something that will sort it for me, I will shout it from the rooftops. Please ask me that again only when you see me on the roof!
12: Why are you getting agitated?
A: Let me think.
Please have a re-read of all the above, and all the following, and then ask me that again. In short, you have no idea what this condition is like, and I hope you never do. I am pleased your universe seems to operate differently from everyone else’s. Still, please be aware that when you enter my universe and sphere of influence, I will repeat a previous answer, getting on with it. Constant ignorant questions, unrealistic expectations, and a plain inability to filter thoughts and questions before they are spoken do, for some reason, get me agitated. I could use stronger words, but least said soonest mended!
13: Why are you shouting?
A: See 12!
14: You should stop smoking
A: Thank you, yes I am aware of that, but that would also mean taking away a support system that, although is harmful, does seem to help me to relax. Though I know, too, it is simply satisfying a craving for nicotine which makes me feel better. So you're suggesting I open up another battlefront, which will take energy I don’t have and add withdrawal symptoms to everything else I’m coping with! It is unlikely to be considered any longer than it took to answer this question.
15: Is it really that painful?
A: Oh FFS! How can I describe this? At best, it is like a nagging toothache in 
my stomach; usually, it feels like I have been punched in the gut no matter if I stand, sit or slouch, and at its worst, I would imagine the kick from a very irritable donkey to be a fair comparison. Also, the pain is not only in my stomach; it’s elsewhere too, but to avoid complicating matters, I won’t go into it, just believe me!
16: Do you have to leave already?
Well, this is an easy one. YES! It’s because I have to. I feel unwell, drained, tired, and nauseous. I’m in pain, and I just need a hot water bottle and peace and quiet. However, the reality may be very different!
17: Do you think this is all in your head?
If you mean, is it psychosomatic, the answer is no. If you are asking, do I think about it all my waking moments, planning, hoping, wondering why, searching for solutions, trying to deal with my familiar companions of dread, fear, stress, anxiety, and what-ifs? Then yes, it is in my head. But I also have all the other everyday pressures and challenges life brings to deal with. See 12 above for additional thoughts!
18: What is IBS anyway?
A: Unless you have lots of time to listen to an explanation, time I certainly don’t have at the moment, I suggest a quick search of the web, which will be your 
gateway of beginning to understand the scourge of up to 1 in 5 of the population. IBS is the thief of time and happiness—the destroyer of friendships, relationships, careers and professions. The deliverer of embarrassment and sometimes disgust, too! At times, I want to hide away, but I can’t. Sometimes, I feel like a fraud, and I spend lots of time hiding IBS symptoms. I find it difficult to trust people I can open up to. You might not see those elements mentioned in your web searches, but they exist.
Sometimes, I wish it was something more socially acceptable, but then I feel guilty for thinking that way. Please take time to read sufficiently to understand this condition; that way, you can be more understanding and supportive.
19: What is a syndrome?
A: See the first two and a half lines of 18 above. And then think about what it means: there is no one set of symptoms. Everyone is different. Bodies and minds react differently. Are you starting to see the depth of the problem?
20: Eating XYZ will help you; it helped the woman down the road.
A: See 19 above. I’m pleased for her! I’ve already tried it, but I am not so lucky!
21: At least it gets you noticed!
A: If you are that insensitive to say this, it might be best if you said it over the phone. To be saying this in close proximity to an IBS sufferer is seriously unwise! You have been warned!
22: You have my sympathy!
A: Thank you, but I don’t want it. I would much prefer emp
athy (I’ll save you the trouble of looking it up = understanding). There is nothing you can do to help the condition, but you can help me if you try and understand what my life is like with this condition. Life is complicated enough without it, but with IBS, things are so much more difficult. So please, please try and understand.
23: You must be able to feel it coming on.
A: Well, yes, of course I can. But that feeling might be 3-5 days coming or less than 2 minutes. And when it comes, it needs to be listened to, and I need to act. Sometimes, it is quicker than me, which complicates and brings floods of emotions. Imagine! In addition, restrooms are often locked or unclean; most days, I plan my outings like military manoeuvres to try and have some peace of mind.
24: You’ve not been for how long? That’s not good for you!
A: You are right, it isn’t good for me. But I’ve not yet learned how to train my gut to become more regular. It can be dire, mainly if faecal impaction occurs! Something else you might want to search on.
25: I wish you could be that fast when I want you to be!
A: If this is an attempt at humour, be aware it won’t be seen as such. If you have read all the above, you will understand why!
--------------
1: What is the one thing TO say TO an IBS sufferer?
A: Consider the IBS Audio Program 100 today, right now!
- It was developed for the physical and emotional symptoms of IBS.
- It is structured, used in over 40 countries, has interlinked sessions, and is available in MP3 and Streamed versions.
- It also has a suggested listening schedule.
- Just one payment and the MP3 version is yours to keep - no monthly fees!
- IT IS DISCOUNTED AT THE MOMENT, SO DON'T MISS IT!
My name is Michael Mahoney.
I do not have IBS, but I have lived with it since 1991, helping Primary care and secondary care consultant referred patients and clients personally in my hypnotherapy practice, and since 1998 through my highly acclaimed IBS Audio Program 100, which has users in over 40 countries.
GET IT HERE
The above examples are some of the many reported back to me by my patients over the years. The answers are from my recollections of patients reported responses and my own thoughts mixed in.
Truly I hope the above goes some way to helping you understand IBS and the impact it has on the life of the person living with IBS. Though as mentioned there are no hard and fast rules, symptoms are as wide and diverse as we are individual. Medically the causes are poorly understood, the treatment options are limited. There is still a long way to go.
There is hope!
While you are reading this article, please take time to look at the IBS Audio Program 100, read how it was developed over 5 years, plus three years patient piloting.
The IBS Audio Program 100 was specifically developed for the IBS condition and its physical and emotional symptoms.
See how it has helped many users and has stood the test of time.
Helping IBS sufferers around the world since 1998 - 27 years and counting!
Offer is limited time. We reserve the right to withdraw discounts and
offers at our discretion.